Don’t be like this!

I received a phone call from a ridiculous, what I can best refer to as a “greasy” salesman (this photo is what I imagine him to look like).  After my “hello,” the first words out of his mouth were “Is this Carol, the owner of the #1 paint company in Texas?” Let’s hit the pause button before I tell you my response.

If you’re going to engage in any kind of positive way with my company, don’t come at me with what sounds like a pickup line in a bar: “Is your daddy Tony the Tiger? Because you look grrrrrreat!”  If you do, you will be hit head-on with a defensive maneuver and I will not take anything that comes out of your mouth seriously.

I already know that you’re trying to sell me something that I probably will not be interested in, because you’re trying to grease me with flattery.  Whether or not there is any truth to the amplified statement, is irrelevant.  I already distrust you and you will soon hear the empty sound of a hung-up phone call.

Just be honest and tell me what you’re trying to sell me.  I still will more than likely disregard your request because I’ve heard it a dozen times this month already: “we’re with the ‘San Antonio Golf Club’ and we want you to be our number one painter…”  blah, blah, blah.  I know you’re trying to meet your commission or at least prove your value as an employee so you can keep your job, but if you’re already working in a shady, dishonest company, I can’t really respect your time because you’re wasting mine.

Every week we get at least 2 companies attempting to sell us advertising of various types for 3 primary organizations:

1. Country / Golf Clubs (in the form of sponsored banners or displays)
2. Schools (in the form of spirit materials at games or display banners)
3. Realtors / Real Estate organizations (in the form of customer folders)

All of these are great places of business, but they hold no loyalty or buy-in to push the associated advertised companies, since they may not even have experience with them. Many organizations already have their own proven network of resources they encourage members/associates to utilize through newsletters, databases, online tools, or word-of-mouth.  As well, from our own experience with these shyster marketing companies, the ROI (return on investment) is poor to non-existent most of the time.

I wish I could tell all potential business victims of these marketing ploys to not succumb to their games because then they would stop calling (it’s really a chronic problem)!  Until then, consider yourselves (company owners and advertising newbies) duly warned and don’t waste your precious marketing dollars.

Now, back to my response to the “grease-ball” on the other end of my phone call.  After pausing for a couple of seconds on how to respond to his attempts to flatter my company by declaring us the #1 paint company in Texas (can I use his claim in my own marketing – I think not), I told him, in fact, we are not.  After giving a hearty (but obviously contrived) laugh he asked, “well, is this Renovate Paint and Design, who is wanting to become the number one painting company for the Dominion Country Club…?”  I cut him off short and told him we did not and to please remove us from his calling list.  I don’t think he heard me because he was still drolling on as I hung up on him.

In hindsight, I should have got his name to ensure that we never hire him as a salesperson for our company, EVER!